Who I'm Not...
"Robert Funk" isn't as rare a name as one might expect. To help you pick me out from the crowd, here are some of them I'm
I'm not a Canadian musician.
I'm not a Pennsylvanian heavy-metal guitarist.
I don't own a classified-ads business in Texas
I didn't go to college in Colorado.
I've never been Production Assistant on a TV series.
I've never written a book with "Jesus" in its title. (That one died in 2005.)
I've never worked for a construction company in Des Moines.
I don't play golf.
I've never run a personnel services company.
I'm not a professor in Chile.
I didn't go to school in the state of Washington.
I don't collect Pogs (whatever they are) and I'm not into hockey.
I wasn't in Vietnam; indeed I've never been in the military.
I've never been a tennis player and I've never lived in California (at least not yet, but particularly not in 1974).
I've never been known by any name beginning with "B".
Nor have I ever been known as "Stan".
I'm not a German professor.
I'm not an archaeologist.
I'm not a lawyer for the disabled.
I don't play the trombone.
I've never been a football player.
I have no brothers.
I've never been part of a search & rescue team.
... more to come, I'm sure
Also, for those of you who may run into me in person, here are people who some have claimed I look like, but who I'm not...
(at the end of
Life Of Brian
, when he's singing
"Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life"
(what, somebody with short hair?!)
Frightened yet? I am.